A little over a year ago, I said yes to the call of missions. I can still picture it – standing in the middle of a rural Thai village, completely undone by the presence of God. It was one of those moments where Heaven brushes up against earth, and you just know life can’t stay the same.
Coming home didn’t feel the same either. It wasn’t that I stopped loving the people or the place that raised me – it’s just that my heart was tethered somewhere else. I’ve been careful not to get too comfortable in my post-grad life because deep down, I know He’s given me vision for the nations. And this past year has been exactly what you’d expect when you’re holding a calling that feels bigger than you – surrender and doubt, invitation and confusion, joy and tears. A constant reminder that I’m still just human, still desperate for a Father who’s greater than my weaknesses. Yet even in the uncertainty, Abba has been kind – delighting in me when I don’t feel ready, carrying me when the chaos gets loud.
Even when “home” has felt ungrounded, I’ve been grounded in Him. Because where He calls, where He dwells, where He is – that’s home.
Earlier this year, I took another short-term mission trip. Before I applied, I kept praying for direction on where to go next. My heart was honestly set somewhere else, but He kept whispering Japan. I didn’t know why. I was confused right up until the moment I landed there–and then suddenly it all made sense.
I’ve told people that Thailand was the mission that lit the fire in me, the trip that confirmed my calling. But Japan… Japan didn’t give me my calling; it gave me my assignment. The day I got back to the States, the door to serve full-time there opened wide, so unexpectedly and yet undeniably God.
There’s one small moment I can’t shake. After serving at an international school full of the liveliest, most joyful kids, we were walking to a nearby mall for lunch. Almost without thinking, I said out loud, “This feels like home.” A friend turned to me and said, “You should really pray into that.” I laughed it off at the time, but by the end of the trip, I wasn’t ready to leave. My heart burned to stay.
And now here I am–just one month away from returning to that very school. One month away from calling Japan home.
I’m soaking in all the “lasts” with the people I love most, feeling the weight of what I’m leaving but also the beauty of being sent. Somewhere between excitement and nerves, gratitude and the ache of goodbye, I’m learning to give myself grace as He gets me ready for the next chapter. I keep hearing His steady voice reminding me that I am His.
I’ve been holding close to these words from 2 Peter 1:3: “His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness.” It’s become my anchor – this reminder that He doesn’t call the equipped; He equips the called.
So here I am, standing between here and there – praying, trusting, and counting the days. I’d love your prayers too. For me, as I step into this next chapter, and for Japan – a nation where less than 1% know Jesus, a place carrying a deep, quiet loneliness. Pray for a harvest, for open hearts, and for His love to be made known.
Thank you for loving me, praying for me, and walking this journey with me. Here’s to all He has ahead.
With love, Malayna
Malayna on Mission 